I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an action movie legend. Yet, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the late 20th century, he also starred in several genuinely hilarious comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who poses as a schoolteacher to locate a fugitive. Throughout the story, the procedural element serves as a basic structure for the star to share adorable scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout involves a student named Joseph, who unprompted rises and informs the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, females have a vagina.” The Terminator responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”

The young actor was played by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a character arc on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the character of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects on the horizon. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. Recently discussed his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.

Behind the Scenes

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all patiently queue, go into the room, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.

“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being fun?

You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the direction of Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would ask for my help to pass certain levels on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

That Famous Quote

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it caused the crew to chuckle. I knew it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it came about, according to family lore, was they were still developing characters. Some character lines were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a short while. She really wrestled with it. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it will probably be one of the iconic quotes from the movie and her instinct was correct.